My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
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