you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
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