She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
