This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
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