I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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