she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
