We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Holy sore nipples Batman
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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