I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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