Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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