nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Randomize
