She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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