You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
My day in three words: secret purse cake
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize
