doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
