lets start a swedish sibling band together
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
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