I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
I need to stop coming to work sober
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
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