dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize