I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
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