its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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