Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
