I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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