If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
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