We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
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