I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Randomize
