Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
So vagazzling was a success
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
That was before I lit my hair on fire
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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