hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Randomize
