pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Randomize
