I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Randomize
