Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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