his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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