maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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