hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Randomize
