i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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