Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Randomize
