you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
