will power is for people who don't want to get laid
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Randomize
