Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
