I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Randomize
