my soul wont recognize me after tonight
It's like God shit irony all over that family
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Randomize
