In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Randomize
