when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
