On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Randomize
