Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Randomize
