I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize
