haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize