margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Randomize
