I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
