ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Randomize
