Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
