i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
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