how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
There's a naked man in my car right now.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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