fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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