Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
