i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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