Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
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