she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize
