i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
