She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
