Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
