The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Randomize
